


The Leo Project

by Simply_Heaven



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: (but Leo doesn't know yet), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drinking Games, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Niles/Subaki is more like enemies with benefits and will not be explored further, Or his ass, Pining, Relationship Anxiety, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, The goal is Takumi's heart, Trans!Takumi, whichever comes first
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:06:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8620345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simply_Heaven/pseuds/Simply_Heaven
Summary: As he walked away, Niles took another look at Leo, who was having trouble not awkwardly gawking at the man with silver hair. Niles could almost sense the hearts in Leo’s eyes. He leaned back in his seat, interlaced his fingers behind his head, and smiled. “I think I just found your type. Good choice, good choice. Want me to drop in a good word for you tomorrow? I am the scientist after all.” Leo looked at Niles, a starved expression on his face. He was having trouble breathing again. “Of course I don’t have to if you aren’t going to be my case study.”
  Upon learning that his 21-year-old best friend of three years has never even had his first kiss let alone ever had a date, Niles takes it unto himself to help Leo live a little.





	1. Intimacy and our Psychological Needs: the Impact of Long-Term Loneliness on Men in their 20s

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare for the extreme fluff that ensues. This is like the 4th slow-burn fic that will probably not be completed by me. I have plans to update As I Walked Under Them Towards You... eventually... during the Thanksgiving break maybe. More will be explained then.
> 
> But this idea was just calling me and I couldn't help it I am sorry.
> 
> We're going in raw. By that, I mean un-beta'd.

Niles dreaded Tuesdays. Not because of the fact that it’s exactly like Mondays except he’s awake enough to realize his initial neglect of his class responsibilities. Not because of that one asshole professor who announces tests too late, doesn’t put anything on the syllabus, and relies on actual class participation to judge the grades of his students. Not because Tuesdays were always the days when the vending machine was empty because everyone needed to relax and get high for the rest of the week, leaving nothing for anyone who didn’t have a bad case of munchies. Tuesdays were utter bullshit, and Niles knew it.

 

But the cherry on top, the icing on the cake, had to be how he spends his nights.

 

“You’re telling me,” Leo sighed, pressing his thumbs to the space between his eyebrows, squeezing his eyes shut in frustration. “... That you didn’t even pick out a topic for your final psych paper?”

 

Niles shrugged from across the table. They sat in the back of the campus library, away from every other coffee-fueled last-minute essay writers and crammers. He had a love-hate relationship with the place. On one hand, there was always too many people for it to be a completely silent space to just sit and think, one of Niles’ favorite activities which seemed near impossible to do anywhere on campus. On the other hand, the library windows always had the greatest view of the night sky without having to go outside in the cold.

 

“I lost track of time,” Niles said, fixing his tutor with a lopsided grin. “Sorry.”

 

“The topic was due _three_ _weeks ago._ What are you going to tell Dr. Reina?” Leo argued.

 

Niles clicked his tongue thoughtfully. “I’m gonna tell her that I’ve been busy and she can suck my dick--”

 

“Shh!” Leo hushed, much to the fright of the many other students in the library. “Okay. I know I’m supposed to be tutoring you, but you are picking out a topic here and now. I can’t stand by and let your grade suffer.”

 

To be honest, that was something that made these meetings somewhat bearable. When Niles wasn’t in the mood to study fucking botanical science, he could always sway Leo into conversations that lasted the necessary hour. It took some work and sometimes Leo would reprimand him for his efforts, but it was always worth it if he got out of studying.

 

Niles gave Leo a lopsided smirk. “Oh? I’m touched. A botanical science major helping me in psychology 101. What shall I write about? The amount of times I’ve had my dick sucked this semester alone--”

 

“Niles,” Leo growled.

 

“--or maybe the amount of times I’ve done the sucking?”

 

_“Niles,”_ Leo interjected, taking a deep breath. Their textbooks were open, spaced out haphazardly over their table. Niles’ notebook was long forgotten as he leaned over the table, giving his mentor a sinful look. Leo would have none of it, leaning back in his seat and away from his friend. “Would you _please_ take this seriously? Honestly, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t pass any of your classes.”

 

“I beg to differ, I have a 4.0 in Archery.”

 

“That’s because you like shooting things, I get it.” Leo ran a hand through his blonde hair, resting his palm on his cheek as he leaned his elbow on the table. He fixed a glare at Niles, who couldn’t help but give back a smug look. “Why do I put up with you again?”

 

“Because you love me.”

 

“I’d trade you for a corn chip.”

 

“Because I’m your only friend and favorite roommate.”

 

“I have Odin and Nyx.

 

“Because I add spice to your life and fill a lonely void in your heart that you didn’t know existed until you met me.”

 

Leo looked over his friend once more before turning back to their textbooks in resignation. Niles frowned, knowing that he just needed to keep Leo preoccupied for twenty more minutes and he would have reduced their session into nothing, three weeks in a row. Before Leo could land his eyes on the paragraph they were going over previously--something about leaf morphology and anatomy--Niles cut off his train of thought. “So what about you?”

 

“What?” Leo asked, clearly disinterested as he searched for his topic. “You mean what I wrote about for philosophy when I took the class?”

 

Niles smiled. “How many dicks did you suck or get sucked?”

 

_“Niles.”_

 

“Well, the dicks wouldn’t be sucking your dick. Unless they weren’t circumcised, then I _guess_ it’s possible, but I meant--”

 

“God, I know what you meant.” Leo covered his face in his hands, dejected. His blonde bangs fell over his face like curtains. Very sad and embarrassed curtains. “Would it kill you to stop talking?”

 

Niles smirked. “Absolutely. One hundred percent yes.”

 

Niles had been Leo’s roommate since their freshman year at St. Arete University. Because neither of them were adventurous and didn’t want to put up with more people than necessary, they applied to stay as roommates every year with another boy named Odin. Throughout their time together between Niles trying to get Leo to come out of his shell and Leo putting up with all of Niles’ bullshit, they had struck up a decent friendship. One that involved Leo keeping Niles’ ass in place and Niles giving Leo memories to last a long, sad lifetime.

 

Of course, when the tutor center matched him up with Leo for botanical science, he had begged Leo not to correct their mistake and give him a new mentor. It was easier to slack off with a friend than a stranger.

 

“I remember when we first met, you were a blushing virgin when I hit on you,” Niles announced with no shame. Leo’s mouth tightened as he stared at Niles with wide eyes. They were in a public place, after all, and with what they were talking about, there was no doubt at least five people eavesdropping when they should be working on their essays. “I greeted you with the good old ‘I hope your posters are as well-hung as you’ line. Oh man. Those were the days...”

 

Leo cleared his throat, genuinely hoping nobody overheard. “Yes, well,” he dismissed, turning back to his textbooks. “We need to get this done--”

 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Niles tutted. He checked his watch discreetly. _Ten minutes to go._ “How many times did you have your dick sucked or do the sucking? I mean, with your mouth. Unless _you’re_ uncircumcised--”

 

_“Niles, please--”_

 

“Oh wait, you don’t care what parts other people have. Hmm, ok, how many times did you a) get your dick sucked, b) suck a dick, or c) suck someone’s... pussy? That doesn’t sound right...” Niles scratched the stubble on his chin, lost in thought.

 

Leo took in a deep breath, exasperated. He rubbed his tired eyes, having crashed from his caffeine high half an hour ago. That, and given it was late and he still had work to do, the day just wasn’t in his favor.

 

“If I answer you, can we go back to the textbook?” Leo asked.

 

“Yes,” Niles lied.

 

Leo looked around the library skeptically. The amount of people that had been there thinned out over time. But they still were not alone. He licked his lips in anticipation, leaning over the table towards Niles. Niles also leaned closer, turning his head so Leo could whisper hesitantly into his ear.

 

Leo licked his lips again. “I’ve never actually... done that with someone yet,” he admitted as if the fact was shameful in itself.

 

But for the sake of procrastinating his studies further in the most dramatic way possible, and also because he was _Niles_ of all people, Niles slammed his hand down to the table in fake shock, jolting the eavesdroppers in their seats. One guy even choked on his tea, spilling the hot liquid all over his chest.

 

“NEVER?!” he repeated, placing a hand on his chest. His one good eye widened deviously, the other one hidden behind the patch that covers a bad archery wound. Leo shushed him again with more urgency as everyone looked their way. Niles softened his voice just a bit, but he was still much too loud by Leo’s standards. “Leo, you’re twenty-one. You’ve been legal for three years. What are you waiting for?”

 

“Is it so bad that I don’t go out to strip clubs every Friday night to get a fix?” Leo hissed.

 

Niles pointed to him with his eyebrows raised as a warning. “Hey, I stopped doing that when they threw me out,” he justified.

 

“That still doesn’t fix anything,” Leo pointed out, trying to keep his voice low now that he was frantic. “Don’t push anyone for their sexual history just because it isn’t yours.”

 

“So you’re going to wait until marriage?” Niles said, rolling his eyes. “How sweet of you. I’d bet your great great grandma would be so proud.”

 

Leo sighed, leaning back into his seat and staring at the library ceiling. It was no use trying to make Niles study for these last few minutes. “Shut up,” he said, exasperated. “Just... just because I’ve never been in a relationship yet doesn’t mean I’m looking for one.”

 

Niles had to do a double take at his words. “You’ve never... you’ve never been in a relationship? Before? What?” To everyone else, Niles looked genuinely astonished at the fact. But Leo knew better. He could see through his facade.

 

Including every time he tried to stop Leo from tutoring him. But that was okay. He didn’t like tutoring anyway.

 

Leo felt his face heat up under the stress of being questioned. “Is it that hard to believe?” he asked.

 

“Yes!” Niles sighed loudly, earning some mean glares from the library staff who now had their eyes on them. “God, next thing you’re going to tell me is you’ve never even kissed someone before.”

 

Leo stayed silent.

 

“... You are supposed to prove me wrong.”

 

Leo avoided his eyes to stare at the ground to his right, biting his bottom lip. He fumbled with his fingers in his lap, unsure of what to say.

 

“... Leo, don’t tell me...”

 

With a huff, Leo started to pack up his things. There was no use for him being there and he wanted to curl up in his bedsheets and hide from everyone. Even though Niles would still hover over him like a mischievous shadow, it was better than staying in public.

 

_“Leo,”_ Niles berated. “You have a problem. Why the _fuck_ am I just learning this?”

 

“There is nothing wrong with not having been in a relationship,” Leo hissed under his breath, swinging his gray backpack onto his shoulders. Carefully, he eyed everyone else in the library to determine who was listening and who wasn’t. “Intimacy is not required for a fulfilling existence.”

 

“But it sure is _preferred,”_ Niles stated, stuffing his notebooks into his own bag and trailing after Leo as they left the building. “Don’t you ever wonder what it feels like to be fucked?”

 

“Never,” Leo scoffed, opening the door for them to head across campus to their dorm. The night air was cool and brisk. Niles inhaled its scent like his life depended on it.

 

He tried a different approach. “Don’t you ever wonder what it’s like to kiss someone?”

 

Leo rolled his eyes but said nothing. He was avoiding all eye contact with Niles until this conversation blew over, and that was that.

 

Niles fixed his gaze onto the pavement ahead of them, the outline of their building in the distance. “You know, if you were my type, I think this would be the moment I’d kiss you,” he mock-flirted.

 

Not missing a single beat, Leo shot back, “Then this would be the moment I would punch you in the face and leave you in a ditch.”

 

Niles flinched. “That’s pretty harsh for a single kiss.”

 

“If it was more than a peck, I could say it was sexual assault.”

 

“And what would you say if it _was_ a peck?”

 

“Didn’t you say something about me not being your type a couple seconds ago?”

 

Sighing, Niles carded his fingers through his white hair, down to where it ended at his shoulders. “That’s it,” he said, resigned. “I’m hooking you up with someone. You can’t stop me. You’re going to date someone and you’re going to like it.”

 

“But _why?”_ Leo groaned, pulling on the straps of his bag absentmindedly. “You can’t force me into a relationship.”

 

Ignoring his previous statement, Niles shrugged. “Think of it as payment for all those times you got me out of trouble with Dr. Gunter.”

 

“That still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t _want_ to date someone.”

 

“How would you know unless you tried?” Niles turned to face Leo, finally arriving on dorm grounds. “No matter what you say, I’m making it my priority to get you laid by the end of the semester. Achieving a datefriend will be icing on the cake.”

 

_“There will be no cake,”_ Leo barked. He pulled out his keys to the building, unlocking the door to get out of the cold. Then he and Niles made their ways up to their dorm room.

 

Niles paused, thinking to himself. He bit his lip, humming under his breath. “... Yes... Yes...” he mumbled to himself. Leo gave him a confused look before deciding against questioning him. He could easily be opening a whole new can of worms that he did not want opened yet.

 

When they opened the door and turned on the lights, another man hissed at the brightness from his bunk bed. Odin wiggled himself further into his blankets, trying to hide from the light fixture and resume his nap.

 

“Sorry, Odin,” Leo apologized quietly, dropping his bag on his separate bed. “Should have warned you.”

 

“Tis alright, dark fiend,” Odin murmured in his half-sleep stupor. “You were unaware of my subdued presence. Had I been awake you would have been...” He yawned. “... Much more careful than to disturb the one and only Odin Dark...”

 

Leo kept himself quiet as he rummaged through his bag again, pulling out certain books and shoving others from his desk in. 8:00am classes were the worst, but this way he didn’t need to take the wrong notebooks to class when he was still waking up. Again.

 

When Niles piped up again, he slammed his hand on the post of his bunk bed, making Odin reflexively sit up, hit his head on the ceiling, and scream bloody murder. “I got it!” he shouted, causing Leo to jump as well. “You will be the subject of my psychology project.”

 

“Why is there a psychology project and why is it in this sacred housing unit?” Odin slurred, rubbing his head without knowing what he was saying. “Does it seek respite after a long night of travel?”

 

Once Leo actually knew what Niles was talking about, his eyes narrowed to his smirking friend. “Oh no,” he said, backing into his bed. “You are not going to write a paper on my sex life, or lack thereof.”

 

“No, no, not _just_ the sex part,” Niles corrected. “The relationship part as well. It will document how someone so physically neglected can do in the area of romance as compared to someone who is not physically neglected. Odin or yours truly will be my control, and you will be my independent variable.”

 

“I think your independent variable would be whether or not someone is physically neglected,” Leo corrected. “And I’m _not_ one of those people.”

 

Niles raised his eyebrows. “When was the last time you hugged someone that you aren’t related to?”

 

Leo stayed silent, turning away from his friend as he fished out his pajamas from his closet.

 

“... Exactly,” Niles finished, mimicking Leo’s actions with his own closet. “My hypothesis, hmm... it will be ‘If someone has never had any prior experience in romance, they take more time to get laid at a given point in time as opposed to someone with more experience.’”

 

Leo acted as if he was thinking about it. “... Your hypothesis restates the obvious,” he said, walking over to their bathroom to change.

 

“Then...” Niles said to himself, leaning against the bunk pole, waiting his turn. “Then it’ll be ‘if someone loses their virginity later in life, they will experience greater relationship anxiety as opposed to someone who lost their virginity early in life.’”

 

“Who will you be analyzing that lost their virginity early in life?” Leo asked for the sake of conversation, not like he cared at all for Niles’ whims.

 

But Niles snickered knowingly. “Lost my v-card the moment I was legal, baby!”

 

Leo opened the door, dressed in checkered pajamas. “You’re insane,” he stated like a common fact before throwing his clothes into the dirty pile near his bed. One last time, he ran his homework through his head, wondering if he forgot to do anything.  _I can probably do math in the morning if I wake up early enough and work through French..._

 

As Niles stripped, he continued from the bathroom. “So you’ll do it?”

 

“No,” Leo called back, wondering how much Odin must hate them right now. “I’m not a guinea pig.”

 

“I’ll use an alias for you,” Niles promised. “ _And_ you get sex, _and_ possibly a relationship, _and_ I get a good grade, _and_ if all goes well, I’ll take you out to your favorite Italian bar, my treat.”

 

Leo sighed loudly, groaning to himself. He had very good points, there wasn’t a reason why Leo couldn’t balance a relationship and schoolwork. But there was the point that Leo didn’t want the stress of finding that balance. He had his school life under control, there was no need to add more on top of that. And while one-night stands might be great to Niles, why only sleep with someone once if he isn’t going to be mentally fulfilled from it?

 

Leo didn’t _just_ want to lose his virginity. He wanted to be accepted, wholeheartedly, his flaws and all by someone who would respect his body and personal space. If someone was willing to do that much, Leo figured he would do the same. And if it was too much to ask, Leo would just have to do without.

 

“... You need to find a new topic,” Leo said, laying his head onto his pillows. “One that wouldn’t take five years to process.”

 

Niles opened the door, coming out in only sweatpants. “You don’t give yourself enough credit,” he cooed, throwing his clothes into his own pile and reaching for his old, beat-up laptop. “You’re hot. You got a nice face and clear skin. You’re feisty. You’re like, the twink to top other twinks. Or, _bottom_ if you know what I mean--”

 

“Goodnight, Niles,” Leo dismissed, shutting off the lights and turning to face the wall away from the bunk bed. Then after a thought, he added, “Goodnight, Odin.”

 

The poor guy was already out cold. So much for feeling sorry for him.

 

Niles’ laptop glowed bright in the night. “Actually I need to type my English essay for tomorrow,” he said nonchalantly. “It’s APA, right?”

 

_“Goodnight.”_

 

That night, Leo had trouble falling asleep. He blamed it on the light of Niles’ laptop, but there was no doubting the fear in how Niles’ “project” would affect him later in the semester.

 

_There is no way he’s serious,_ Leo thought, curling up in his sheets. _There’s no fucking way._

 

...

 

Niles was very serious.

 

At 1pm the next day, he convinced Leo to sit down between his classes and have lunch with him in the student center. While Leo dug into his pitiful grilled cheese and tomato sandwich, Niles pointed out every student that he knew, trying to get a feel for what kind of person Leo was attracted to.

 

_Good fucking luck,_ Leo thought, taking another bite. He surveyed the cafeteria, taking note of the boys who hollered and jeered while playing at the pool table, the girls who chatted about homework near the phone charging station, the teachers who desperately needed their sixth coffee fix for the day. They reminded him to take a sip of his tea before it got cold every time they drew near.

 

“And that one over there is someone I like to call ‘If-I-Had-To-Pick-A-Chick’” Niles sneered, jabbing his thumb at a blue haired woman from across the center. She seemed to be studying hard for something, bobbing her head slightly to the music from her earbuds. “I’ve met her once and it didn’t go exactly as planned. I wonder if she’s still angry about it.”

 

Leo turned to Niles. “About what?” he asked, taking another sip from his tea.

 

Niles’ lips thinned. “I might have made an ‘inappropriate’ remark regarding her butt in yoga pants. She turned to me and said something about literally shoving my head up my ass.”

 

Leo blinked, wide-eyed. “... And what happened next?”

 

Niles sighed. “Apparently when someone threatens you, you aren’t supposed to reply ‘That’s hot’ to whatever they say.”

 

Hiding his face with his palm, Leo shook his head. _“Niles.”_

 

“I didn’t intend for her to hear it!” Niles exclaimed. “It was just supposed to be a passing remark.”

 

Leo looked away from his friend, taking another bite of his almost-finished sandwich. From the corner of his eye, he saw a red blue approach Niles’ side of the table from across the room.

 

“Well, well,” he heard a man’s voice say in an exaggerated purr. “If it isn’t The Rogue. Still upset about Friday’s challenge?”

 

“You damn well bet your ass I am!” Niles growled, standing up and resting his palms on the table surface. “That was _complete_ bullshit. There is no way that I can have an advantage by _seven points_ and still lose! You rigged the table!”

 

“I did no such thing,” the other man said innocently, smiling down at Niles slightly. “You lost of your own volition. I’m here to reap my overdue reward.” He held out his hand, palm facing upward. “Pay up.”

 

Niles sighed, and Leo wondered how much money he bet during one of his “tournaments.” He reached into his pocket and, much to Leo’s surprise, he pulled out a gold-colored feather from his pocket. The feather was immaculate, shining in the dull light of the cafeteria, with turquoise tips at its end. Leo wondered why a feather was such a prize, but then he remembered a rumor about someone wrestling one of the kinshi birds that occasionally walked on campus and somehow survived. That person pulled off a feather for a dare and earned quite the beating, nearly losing some fingers at the mercy of the wild bird. That same feather must be a sign of good luck among those who attend the tournament, Leo concluded.

 

“Not so fast,” Niles said, swiping the feather away before the other man could take it. “Five out of nine. You and me. Winner keeps it.”

 

“I’m not falling for that again, I already won twice,” the red-haired man sighed impatiently. “Just give it here.”

 

“But Subaki--”

 

“That’s Subaki The Assassin, to you.”

 

Niles groaned again, finally handing the feather over. “Take good care of it.”

 

Subaki smiled and stuffed the feather into his pocket. “Naturally. We’re still down for Friday night?”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Niles waved off. “I’m winning that thing back.”

 

“Sure you are,” Subaki dismissed. “I have a couple of friends coming to witness your defeat. So make sure you come prepared, I want to put on a good show for them.”

 

Niles scoffed. “Yeah, when _I_ beat _you._ I’d bet that would be quite the spectacle.”

 

Subaki wrinkled his nose. Before he could say anything else, If-I-Had-To-Pick-A-Chick stood up and made her way to them with a sour look on her face. “Subaki, is this the guy?” she asked, jutting her chin to Niles.

 

_Wow,_ Leo thought, watching from the sidelines and taking one last bite of his sandwich. _Niles has a bigger reputation than I thought._

 

Subaki grinned and nodded. “The very same. Why do you ask?”

 

Her face fell even more, making one of the scariest expressions Leo has ever witnessed. Her teeth were exposed in a wide frown, forehead wrinkled and eyes narrowed. “You’re the one asshole who catcalled me!” she hissed.

 

Niles held up a finger. “I would say to take it as a compliment, but that would make me a misogynist,” he pointed out, which seemed to spur the woman on even more. “You weren’t even supposed to hear that. I was talking to myself.”

 

“Oh, and I bet you say that to all of the girls!” If-I-Had-To-Pick-A-Chick scoffed, rolling up her jacket sleeves with the anticipation of a fight. “I’m not going to let you go that easily!”

 

Of course, Niles replied, reflexively and without thinking, “That’s kind of hot!”

 

Before the woman could lunge, Subaki got between them. “Oboro, I think Takumi is looking for you,” he reminded her quickly, hoping it was enough to deter her attack. “He needs his history textbook back, remember?”

 

Oboro squinted up at Niles, her demonic face taking a few moments to relax. “I... suppose I can’t keep him waiting,” she said, relenting. Then she hardened her gaze once more. “We’ll all be at the tournament when you lose! And I’ll be laughing!”

 

Niles chuckled. “Then I’ll make sure not to lose,” he said.

 

Making the “I’m watching you” gesture with her eyes and two fingers, Oboro walked away, blocked by Subaki from lunging at Niles again. Leo watched them from across the cafeteria, wondering exactly what their relationship might be.

 

Niles lowered himself into his seat. “I swear if I liked vagina, I would be all over her,” he admitted without shame.

 

Leo rolled his eyes, throwing his trash into a nearby trash can. “You’re disgusting.”

 

“Not everyone can have your finicky tastes in attraction. I still have not determined what kind of person you like.”

 

“Just eat your food. I have to get to my 2:00 class.”

 

Before he could fall back into the comfort of his own bubble, Leo saw another form start to approach from his peripheral vision. _Oh god, what now?_ he thought, groaning internally at what kind of fight Niles would face now.

 

With one last ounce of innocence, Leo turned to face the person.

 

The man who approached them seemed familiar, but Leo couldn’t quite put a name on him or where they met before. Long silver hair was tied up on his head, flowing down to his mid-back. He had a sharp jaw, clear face accented by bright, keen amber eyes. His torso was hidden by a baggy jacket but Leo could tell that the man probably had a decent amount of muscle on him. It was cliche, but as he came closer, it seemed to Leo that all of the lights dimmed in that very instant.

 

Hiding his mouth with his hand, Leo allowed his jaw to drop.

 

“Hey, I’m sorry about my friends,” the man said to Niles, barely acknowledging Leo’s presence. “Oboro can be a bit... much.”

 

Niles shrugged and crossed his arms. “Not a problem. I’m used to getting yelled at.”

 

The man scratched his neck, anxiously running his fingers through his long silver ponytail. “You’re the one going against Subaki again?” he asked, eyes darting everywhere as if he was being followed.

 

“That’s right,” Niles confirmed. “You’re the friend Subaki the Sucker mentioned bringing as well?”

 

The man chuckled, but quickly drew in a breath through his teeth. “Yep, that’s me. I’ll see you there.”

 

Niles nodded. “See you in Archery, Taco Meat.”

 

“See you, Noodles.”

 

As he walked away, Niles took another look at Leo, who was having trouble not awkwardly gawking at the man with silver hair. Niles could almost sense the hearts in Leo’s eyes. He leaned back in his seat, interlaced his fingers behind his head, and smiled.

 

“I think I just found your type. Good choice, good choice. Want me to drop in a good word for you tomorrow? I _am_ the scientist after all.” Leo looked at Niles, a starved expression on his face. He was having trouble breathing again. “Of course I don’t _have_ to if you aren’t going to be my case study.”

 

.....

 

Leo knew the symptoms of attraction very well. He knew of the sweaty palms, the shuddering breaths, the hot cheeks and hammering heartbeat. He knew the feeling of his mouth going dry and the accidental boners when thinking of them late at night. But every time he felt these symptoms, he tried swallowing them as quickly as they came, and beat himself up for being so distracted from his work.

 

Over time, he thought he was getting better and better at hiding these symptoms until they went away. Soon, he would be able to stay in control of his body no matter who he was in the room with. He thought that was something he could take pride in. But apparently he wasn’t as good at hiding it as he thought.

 

One day when Leo’s class got cancelled and he waited outside the archery range with a book in hand, Leo would scan the archers every so often. They went up to the target one at a time and shoot a round of arrows, tallying their points depending on how close they were to the bullseye. Some of the men wore thin shirts to compensate for the hot months. Some men went shirtless.

 

Leo saw him go after Niles shot two bullseyes and two near-centers. Silver hair tied up in a bun and out of his face, Leo couldn’t help but lean against the burning metal fence to get a better view at his upper body. He wasn’t completely ripped, but he had a decent amount of lean muscle that filled out his body beautifully. Sweat dropped from his forehead to his chin, and Leo watched intently as he shot three bullseyes in a row. It was amazing, how much focus that man had to his target. Some ancient, repressed part of Leo wanted that intense gaze focused on him and only him.

 

Leo ended up leaving before Niles was free to go. Later, he found Leo curled up on his bed taking one of his signature stress naps.

 

_He’s probably dating someone,_ Leo dismissed in his head. _He would never be interested in someone like me. In addition to the chance of him being interested in men very slim, what are the chances that we would be attracted to each other? Argh, Leo, focus on your damn work. Don’t worry about things out of your control._

 

Leo couldn’t believe it took himself six months to realize that the same man was so close.

 

Perhaps staying away from that man was a good thing.

 

Perhaps it wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boyo, Leo done fucked.
> 
> In all honesty if you are 20, 25, 30 and you never had your first kiss and never dated then it doesn't matter. There are no negative effects of not having relationships, only if it's something you really, really want, then you can become desperate. But if you're like Leo and you just have other things on your mind then that's perfectly fine. Personally, I always imagined Leo to be asexual and only having sex when his partner wants it (not that he doesn't consent. He does, but he never outwardly seeks the sex) and likewise, he doesn't actively seek relationships. Only if he feels close enough to them because they started as friends can he be comfortable dating them.


	2. The Highs and Lows of Adult Self-Esteem: The Emotional and Hormonal Consequences on the Adult Brain After Getting Rekt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm???? Not dead?????  
> Since school is starting for everyone (I start on this Tuesday lol) I figured this would be the best time to update!  
> Sorry for the absence but I went into this fic with no ideas or structure and I thought about it a lot and now have a basic plot structure. So now I don't fall off the grid again lol.  
> Also, I changed Niles from being in a relationship with M!Corrin to being single because I have recently been enlightened by the joys of Subaki/Niles and consensual enemies with benefits. If you like the ship, you'll like this chapter. ;)  
> Enjoy!

Leo stared at the screen of his laptop, which was opened to an empty word document. He opened the document a good fifteen minutes ago and was currently letting it sit, the words of his history essay simmering in his mind. He was busy counting the number of times the blinking line flashed before he actually typed a word to this damn assignment. He counted 249 before his mind went numb and had to start again.

 

While he was working on his essay, Niles tapped his pen against his miniature notepad, which he only used in dire situations like when he wanted to look professional in front of others. “Takumi is going to the tournament, like I said before,” Niles said. “It’s the perfect chance to meet him, and you still don’t want to go?”

 

“I have stuff to do,” Leo groaned. Finally, he broke his gaze from his laptop and rubbed his burning eyes. “No matter how hard I stare at it, the essay isn’t going to write itself.”

 

Niles muttered something like, “If you’re like me, it might,” but Leo wasn’t too sure what that would mean. He scribbled some more notes onto his notepad with his pen and leaned back onto his bed.

 

Leo leaned his chin on his desk, deciding once and for all that the essay was not going to get done no matter how hard he tried. He sighed, dejected, and closed his laptop. Now that his eyes were closed, the only thing he could pay attention to besides the mind-numbing void of college suffering was the sound of Niles writing something at the other side of their room.

 

“What are you even writing, anyway?” Leo mumbled, not moving.

 

“Notes,” Niles answered simply.

 

“What kind of notes?” Leo pressed.

 

Niles snickered. “I guess you could say they are quite... noteworthy.”

 

That was enough to make Leo get up from his chair and inspect the notes for himself. He snatched the notepad out of Niles’ hands and scanned its contents. Niles did not even try to grab it back. He just beamed up at Leo with pride at showing him his handiwork.

 

_ Leo is trying to bang Takumi but breaks into hives whenever he has one-night stands. It takes at least 3 dates to bang. Each date is one week apart. Leo also needs time to grow some balls to ask Takumi out before the dates occur. The time it takes for Leo to grow some balls is relative to the amount of time Takumi spends within a five foot radius of Leo’s penis at a rate of one third the amount of time. The time Takumi spends near Leo’s uncut (?) dick is determined by the days Niles and Takumi have time to chill together (2 days of 7) after archery as well as the tournaments, which happen every two weeks. Left alone, Leo’s balls will be done growing at the end of the semester (14 weeks). Assuming there are no large campus events happening that keep them busy and that Leo will not die a virgin, how much time will it take for Leo to cash in his v-card? _

 

_ Time after asking Takumi out = 3 weeks _

_ Max possible time = 17 weeks _

_ t = total weeks _

_ T = time it takes for Leo to grow a pair _

_ Max T = 14 weeks _

_ Rate Takumi is near Leo’s dick = 2.5 times a week _

 

_ T = 14 - [(.3T) x 2.5T] _

_ T = 14 - (.75T^2) _

_.75T^2 + T = 14 _

_.75T^2 + T - 14 = 0 _

_ T = [-1  _ _ ± √(1^2 - 4(.75 x -14))]/(2 x .75) _

_ T = [-1 + √(1 - 4(-10.5))]/1.5 _

_ T = [-1 + √(1 + 42)]/1.5 _

_ T = [-1 + 6.5]/1.5 _

_ T = 5.5/1.5 _

_ T = 3.66 weeks _

_ t = 3.66 + 3 = 6.66 _

 

_ Answer: Leo will get laid in 6.66 weeks and the sound of their fucking will finally awake the devil, consuming us all, introducing us to a brand new world that celebrates baby eating and equality for the LGBT+ community. The end. _

 

The more Leo stared, the harder it became to believe what he was seeing.

 

_ Oh my gods, _ Leo thought, checking over Niles’ work.  _ He’s actually doing math for this. _

 

“I thought you almost failed your last calculus course,” Leo said, oddly impressed.

 

Niles stood and clapped Leo on the arm. “This is important,” he said in a serious tone. “Life as we know it is at stake.”

 

Leo clicked his tongue. “No it isn’t and you know it.”

 

“And we only have until the devil rises for you to cash in your v-card. The end is nigh. Better do it soon.”

 

Leo deadpanned and, without much hesitance, made his way to their bathroom. He got as far as the door separating the toilet from the rest of the bathroom before he realized he couldn’t flush the notepad down the drain like he wanted to. Leo groaned, the sound of his dismay carrying to the neighbor dorm.

 

“Who clogged our only toilet?” Leo sighed, re-entering his room and throwing the notepad back to Niles, who wordlessly jabbed his thumb at Odin, who sat on his top bunk with thick headphones covering his ears and his laptop on his lap. Odin’s eyes were closed as he lip-synced to a fast song, his upper body jerking side to side with the rhythm. Nobody knew exactly what he was doing. Nobody really cared.

 

Leo pinched the bridge of his nose.  _ So much is happening, I really need to sleep. _ He caught a glimpse of his alarm clock. It was 6pm.

 

“Do we have any leftovers?” Leo mumbled, pulling open the door to the mini fridge of wonders. One time, Leo swore he had seen Odin eat the last microwave dinner for breakfast, leaving nothing for him to eat later, but when he checked it, he found two preserved burritos of unknown origin, waiting to be eaten. He also found a vegetable platter in there and nobody knew who bought it, but the gods knew that they were going to use it to save their bodies from rotting on the inside.

 

There was nothing worth scavenging for at this time, meaning that Leo would have to go to the mess hall for dinner and that the fridge fairy was too late. The more the day progressed, the more Leo desperately wanted a stress nap, which is always fun at first but accomplishes nothing and leaves his throat dry in the middle of the night.

 

Niles belly-flopped onto his bunk. “If you really want to eat something--”

 

“Niles, no,” Leo pleaded.

 

“--you are more than welcome to eat my ass.”

 

_ “Niles,” _ Leo groaned. “That didn’t work the first time, it won’t work the hundredth time, thank you.”

 

“Are you in the mood for salad? Because you can toss mine.”

 

“I still don’t even know what that  _ means,” _ Leo said. “And three years later, I’m still too afraid to look it up.”

 

Leo stubbornly sat on his bed, weighing his options. He could go to the mess hall, spend precious money on overpriced sub-par cold cafeteria food, or he could wait it out until breakfast when the food was fresh. Of course, he would have to wake up early enough to make it to his morning class. Maybe if he set his alarm half an hour earlier and resisted the urge to put it on snooze, he could make it. But then he would have to get to bed earlier. And he still had homework to do--

 

“Want me to order pizza?” Niles asked apologetically, pulling out his phone. “I have a coupon for the place just across the bridge.”

 

“Gods, yes,” Leo answered, collapsing on his own bed. “With extra tomatoes on top.”

 

“You got it,  _ prince,” _ Niles scoffed, rolling his eyes.

 

*~*~*~*

 

“How come Dr. Gunter forbid use of the given tomes of knowledge on electronic devices? And then confiscate such items?” Odin asked Leo as they walked to the other side of campus for their next class. Leo was thankful that he had Odin in at least one class, the  _ History of Nohrian Magic During the 16th Century, _ this semester. Even though magic  _ should _ be an interesting topic, it was taught with huge amounts of caution which dulled down the experience to the point where Leo wanted the class to be his designated nap period, if only Dr. Gunter wouldn’t throw him out of the class for trying. In the end, Leo couldn’t even remember how to recite a simple fire spell without looking at his notes, which is for the better since the last time someone had enough money for a fire tome (or they just stole it from the teacher), they nearly set the dorm on fire trying to cook their cup of instant ramen.

 

Leo shrugged at his friend’s question. “Probably because the university president doesn’t want students using them outside of class, but they still are too cheap to invest in buying textbooks for their students. They can take away a tome, but they can’t take away an entire tablet with an e-reader app. And we get it back at the end of the semester, but for what? We can still cause havoc with them.” He paused as a random thought hit him. “Imagine what would happen if someone used a disrobing gale in a public place.”

 

Odin looked at his friend wearily. “Is that the reason why such tomes cost so much money?”

 

“Probably. These are some of the most expensive textbooks my family ever had to buy. Or it’s just an excuse for the school to make us poor.”

 

“Ah, the crushing weight of student debt in the quest of higher education,” Odin lamented melodramatically.

 

“It was worse for my sister, though,” Leo continued. “She wanted to get into the Wyvern Flyers Association and had to take special classes where she needed to pay a fee every time to rent a wyvern. Do you know how much those things cost?”

 

Odin’s face scrunched up. “I’m guessing there were no alternatives...?” he tentatively asked.

 

Leo gestured wildly. “The only alternative was us buying one and raising it ourselves. There’s no stables within a fifty mile radius to home! How would we do that?”

 

Odin didn’t say anything, but made a very pained face at Leo. He knew.

 

The two entered the west building and started up the stairs. “Oh, I almost forgot,” Odin said, settling into his seat in the minutes before class started. They sat near the back despite this breaking Leo’s internal code to stick to the front, if only to avoid Dr. Gunter’s wrath. “I need the dorm to myself at the end of the week. As you know, Fridays are when the Guardians of the Exalt come together for yet another bold conquest. As always, you may stay and watch--or join--but I advise against trying to sleep for it will all be for naught.”

 

Leo huffed and gave his friend a small smile. “It’s fine. I’m guessing your tabletop group got relocated again?”

 

“Such treachery! The library is closing early this week for repairs!”

 

“And Selena still won’t interact with you in a public space?”

 

“I... yes.”

 

The door opened with a bang at precisely 1:35pm. Dr. Gunter yelled at his students (all of whom were silent to begin with) to quiet down and to pull out their copies of  _ The Standardized Modern History of Nohr: from the Golden Age to the Invisible War vol. 3 _ , written by Dr. Gunter himself. Leo mentally groaned and pulled the book from his bag. When the lecture started, Leo let his mind slip (they weren’t learning anything he didn’t already know) and when he did, his daydreams were filled with magic, tabletop, and annoying friends. This spread to thoughts of Niles, to his tournament on Friday, and, inevitably, about a man with silver hair.

 

_ I can’t deny that I’m aesthetically attracted to him,  _ Leo thought, leaning his chin on the palm of his hand.  _ I mean, who isn’t? He’s built like a god... But what if his personality wasn’t there? Would it be even worth it to know him personally if that’s the case? _

 

*~*~*~*

 

The end of the week couldn’t have come sooner for Leo. After finishing a fraction of his homework early, all Leo wanted was a well-deserved stress nap at the end of the day. He was tired, overworked, and ignoring his growling stomach. But Odin quickly began setting up his game in the middle of the room, followed by his friend Laslow knocking on the building’s door. Leo knew Laslow from outside Odin’s meetings and he seemed like a normal, regular flirt and not a complete nerd. He had no idea what his connection to Odin was, but was proud that Odin was able to make such cool friends. Well, one of those cool friends was his cousin, a student in Ylisse that Odin video chatted every so often, but Leo never asked about her.

 

Niles had to rehearse his grand entrance before leaving. As he did every other Friday night, he wore his special leather jacket and tight black jeans, an outfit which he lovingly called “Thottie Castle” in reference to an 80s film Leo never watched, but it probably had to do with someone named “Baby.” Niles ran a small amount of hair gel through his white locks, telling Leo about how he needed to look good “when Subaki the Sucker has his ass handed to him.”

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go?” Niles asked one last time as he fixed his cuffs. “You might regret it later.”

 

Leo sat on his bed, his laptop open in front of him. He had written one page worth of history essay, none of which was actually any good to him, and the full seven pages were due the upcoming Monday. If he paced himself correctly, he could still go to the tournament and finish his essay, if he  _ wanted _ to go to the tournament like Niles wanted.

 

“I don’t know,” Leo sighed, pushing his laptop to the edge of his bed with his foot. “It’s not really my scene. Good luck in beating Subaki, though.”

 

Niles stared down at him, his hand pausing on his sleeve, before lowering himself to sit next to Leo on the edge of his bed. “Listen,” he started, looking Leo in the eye. “Nothing is going to happen if you don’t make it happen. I’ve already slipped your name into a conversation with Takumi during my last archery class. He knows that you’re lonely and need more friends--”

 

“You told him  _ what?” _ Leo barked, his mouth hanging open. “Niles, how could you say that?! Why did you need to paint that sort of picture in his mind of me?!”

 

Niles shrugged. “You wanted me to call you an expert pimp daddy extreme that’s suave and cool and the entire school is swooning over you?”

 

Leo considered it. “... Yes,” he said.

 

Cocking a brow, Niles said, “A web of lies will get you nowhere. He would have found out sooner or later if you hit it off.”

 

“Keywords: hit it off,” Leo emphasized. “Now there’s no chance because of you making me look like a social recluse basket case.”

 

Leo went to shove Niles off of his bed (lightly and with love) but Niles swatted his hands away. “And you know what he said?” he continued. “He said that he’d be open to meeting you,  _ if _ you do the same. So why not show that you care to meet him?”

 

Leo stared at Niles like there was something his friend just wasn’t understanding. “In an environment where everyone is high and wasted?” he asked.

 

“It’s the perfect place where anything goes, nobody judges, and if you throw up, you can just blame it on the alcohol. Can’t think straight? Blame it on the alcohol. Your face is red? Blame the alcohol. Need some private time outside? Blame the alcohol. You are missing so many possibilities!”

 

But meeting a potential date in that sort of environment isn’t what Leo had imagined. Leo always figured he would fall in love at a bookstore or in a museum, somewhere where he could show off and be in his element. It would be some sort of instant connection, he would just  _ know _ that the other person was the right one because they would click like everyone did in cheap romantic comedies. Everything else would come naturally. If he did end up making a connection at a campus party, would that cheapen his experience there?

 

“I don’t need his pity,” Leo scoffed, turning back to his laptop. “If he’s only getting to know me because he thinks I’m like a lost dog who can’t find its owner--”

 

“A lost,  _ horny _ dog. A lost dog in heat for the first time.”

 

“--then it’s just not worth it. I know I’m better than that.”

 

Leo fell back against his pillow and stared up at the dorm’s white ceiling. The only sounds were of Odin setting and resetting his game in the middle, trying to get everything to “properly portray the intense, awesome feeling of where we left off,” and of Laslow sipping at a cup of coffee that Odin had made for him prior.

 

Niles surprised Leo with an uncharacteristically gentle touch to his shoulder. “Alright, if that’s what you want,” he relented. “But I stand by what I said. If you don’t do anything about your loneliness, nothing will happen. You need to put yourself out there. I offered my help, and you keep rejecting me. So, fine. I’ll go to the tournament by myself.”

 

Leo looked up at Niles and quickly looked away. It made him sick every time Niles got serious. “If it weren’t for your damn essay, you wouldn’t be doing this,” he stated as if it were a fact.

 

But Niles shook his head. “If you had come to me, I would have helped.” He checked his phone for the time. “Ah, shit, I can’t be late. I need to marinate Subaki’s ass before I serve it to him.” Niles got up and, as he was walking out of the room, paused at the door. “And now is the time you say that you changed your mind last minute.”

 

“Bye, Niles,” Leo dismissed, turning on his side to get comfortable. Maybe he could nap if he listened to music to block out Odin’s game? Niles sighed and said his goodbyes. Then it was just Leo, Odin, and Laslow.

 

Laslow broke the silence by placing his cup of coffee on Odin’s desk. “So...” he drawled. “What was that about?”

 

“Niles just being Niles,” Leo shrugged.

 

“The fiend had been tirelessly trying and failing to get our friend Leo to conquer the trials of love,” Odin answered, finally pleased at his set up. His dark fleece blankets were tied over the window to hide the light and several tea lights that he had gotten on sale were lit, casting shadows from various surfaces around the room. Leo wondered at the back of his mind what would happen if their RA caught them with lit candles in their room. He figured Benny was busy dealing with much worse.

 

Laslow leaned back in Odin’s desk chair. “Ah, love,” he sang dreamily. “It sucks, doesn’t it? But we all get up and try again because it feels too good to lose.”

 

Odin laid down on the floor, texting Selena to come out of the bushes and stop hiding wherever she was. “Is this why you ask every person you meet to go on a date?” he asked.

 

Laslow nodded. “Once you plant a seed in the mind of a lovely specimen, there’s a chance you might just succeed.”

 

Leo pushed himself to sit upright and look at him. “But what if you get rejected?” he asked. “Doesn’t that make everything awkward?”

 

“Not necessarily,” Laslow winked. “If you apologize and promise to make things right, that is.”

 

“And what if they want nothing to do with you and you creep them out?”

 

“Well, nobody likes a stalker.” Laslow rubbed his chin. “In that case, it wasn’t meant to be unless natural causes bring you together again.”

 

Leo raised his brow, skeptical. “And how is that working for you?”

 

Laslow shrugged and smiled his charming smile. He ignored the question. “Say, Leo, do you prefer coffee or tea?”

 

Leo was taken aback, adjusting to the shift in conversation. “Err... I like coffee in the day and tea in the afternoon,” he confessed. “It helps keep me from crashing so hard.”

 

Pushing off his chair, Laslow slowly approached Leo from across the room. Odin eyed them from where he lay but did not attempt to stop his friend. “Excellent.” Before Leo could pull away, Laslow took his hand in his. His grip was soft but firm enough to keep Leo from jerking his hand out. “If that’s the case, would you like to go out and have a cup of tea with me tomorrow afternoon?”

 

Leo’s face flushed a new shade of pale. “I... uh... I...” he stuttered, his eyes locking on the door. He hardly knew he was shaking when he called out to an unhearing Niles, who may or may not have been waiting just outside the building for him, “Niles! I’ve changed my mind! Take me with you!” Not waiting a single second, Leo fumbled off of his bed, grabbed his lanyard and phone, slipped his worn-out sneakers on, and headed out the door, nearly tripping over Selena.

 

Odin raised his head. “You know you have a natural gift for making people run away from you, correct?”

 

Laslow smiled down at him. “Your friend will thank me later.”

 

*~*~*~*

 

“Hellooooo ladies, gents, et cetera!” came a voice from the cheap dollar store speakers on the music table. A student named Silas with unruly gray hair yelled into his mic to get everyone’s attention. He spoke with such enthusiasm that Leo, who was practically pressed against Niles’ side for protection among a dense sea of high students ready to get shit-faced on the cheapest beer poor college students could afford, just couldn’t relate to. “Get readyyyy for yet another Festive Fridays Tournament! I’m your host, Silas. Welcome back everyone who joined us in the past! For those who are new, you have a chance at signing up to take part in drinking games, working your way up face off against our reigning champion, Subakiiii the Assassinnn!”

 

Silas pointed at Subaki, who stood at the head of the room. As per usual, Subaki pulled out the gold, turquoise-tipped kinshi feather from his jean pocket, kissed it, and put it back in its place for good luck.

 

“The lucky winner who can beat Subaki the Assassin will win the all-coveted one-of-a-kind student-picked kinshi featheeer!” Silas continued. Half of the students cheered and clapped. “And another prize!” He reached into his own pocket to pull out a small card and held it to face everyone else. “A $10 visa gift card!”

 

And the crowd went wild.

 

A student named Hinata with well-sculpted arms grabbed his empty can of beer and flattened it against his forehead. “LET’S DO THIS!” he screamed, revving up the people around him.

 

“A quick reminder of the rules,” Silas said. “When facing off, both players will come to Felicia--” Silas pointed to a strawberry blonde girl sitting at her own table with the names of the players on a sheet, “--the bracket keeper and designated driver of her mother’s minivan, and confirm the winner. Any fights will result in disqualification for both players. A round will last as long as it takes for the last two players to finish. Any questions, come and talk to me.”

 

Up near Silas, another green-haired student named Kaze rolled a huge spinning wheel next to the table. The wheel had the names of different drinking games listed and an arrow pointing towards the one that would be chosen for that round. Kaze took Silas’ mic. “Has everyone who wants to participate signed up yet?” he asked.

 

Niles nudged Leo with his elbow. “Did you want to do it? Now is your chance.”

 

Leo shook his head. It wouldn’t be good if he got drunk.

 

Kaze gave the mic back to Silas and spun the wheel. Everyone held their breath, praying that the arrow landed on the game they were best at.

 

“As we are spinning, I’d like to quickly remind everyone that we are always taking donations,” Silas said as fast as he could. “Your donations go towards us buying the beer, the cups, clean up supplies, and yes, the gift cards. Any coin you can spare will be put to good use and help us keep hosting these tournaments. Thank you.”

 

Just as he finished, the spinner came to a stop and landed on “FLIP, SIP, OR STRIP.” Many people clapped and hollered, then headed to the many tables that were set up around the area. The people who weren't playing crowded around the tables to watch the games unfold. Niles left Leo’s side to play against a woman named Beruka, who really didn’t look like she was old enough to participate. Red plastic cups were filled with a shot of cheap beer on the table, those who weren’t playing had a cup in their hand filled to the brim, and soon anyone who wasn’t the center of attention faded from everyone’s minds. A light buzz covered the area like a blanket.

 

Leo watched Niles play while sipping at his own cup. He hated the taste of alcohol if it wasn’t mixed with something else. Without Niles to guide him at the social convention, he felt rather lost. He looked around, trying to lock eyes with his target, but there was just too many people in front of him. He downed the rest of his beer and sought out a refill. Maybe if he got drunk enough, he wouldn’t feel so out of place.

 

To his surprise, on one of the benches pushed to the edge of the clearing, sat an unaware Takumi with his phone in one hand and a half-emptied cup of beer in the other. Takumi didn't seem to care about what happened in his surroundings, even though he was supposed to be cheering on Subaki, who didn't actually have to participate until the final round. This was Leo’s chance.

 

Leo took a deep breath, rehearsing the things he could say in his head several hundred times. Each time, his face became hot. He quickly realized that saying  _ just the right thing _ to woo a stranger had so much room for error. Usually, Leo prided himself in knowing what to say in platonic or professional settings, like at his brother’s birthday party when Xander’s coworkers came to the restaurant with their family and Leo was the one who had to entertain them so as not to smear Xander’s reputation in the company. But he couldn’t talk about overseas enterprises or stocks or even what strange things he learned in his etiquette workshops to Takumi. Well, he could possibly make the last one work, but it would be a stretch.

 

After a good five and a half minutes of mental preparation, Leo brought himself to sit on the far end of bench across from Takumi, who did not look up from his phone screen. Leo swallowed a lump in his throat and stared at the other man, not quite aware of his own actions. Before he could lower his gaze back to his sad reflection in his beer, he caught a flash of Takumi’s eyes, quick and sharp, glancing at him and turning back to his phone before Leo could fit in a word.

 

_ Oh, _ Leo thought, taking another sip.  _ He’s ignoring me. _

 

“Say, Takumi, do you usually come to these tournaments?” he asked without turning, hoping to sound cool.

 

Takumi’s thumb stopped on his phone screen as he slowly raised his head to face Leo, his gaze intense and skeptical. Leo felt himself flush, knowing he did something--he didn’t know what--wrong this early.

 

“Do I know you from somewhere?” he asked, his words clipped.

 

_ He doesn’t know where I heard his name, _ Leo mentally slapped himself.  _ He probably thinks I’m a creep. This is just great. _

 

“We saw each other in the cafeteria when Oboro almost beat up Niles,” Leo explained hastily. “Niles... told me about you.”

 

Takumi’s narrowed eyes finally brightened with recognition. “Oh! I think I remember someone who looks like you,” he said. “Niles told me about you too, like how you don’t really have a lot of friends and stuff.”

 

In that moment, Leo felt betrayed.

 

Waving Takumi’s words off, Leo said, “Don’t listen to him, he just likes making fun of me.”

 

“Yeah, he does that to everyone in archery,” Takumi nodded.

 

There was a brief moment of awkward silence before Niles was crowned victor of Flip, Sip, or Strip, leaving a furiously drunk Beruka in only her sports bra and shorts. Leo noted that while his opponent was mostly nude, Niles was completely dressed, save for one shoe. Niles must have a lot of luck with drinking games after so many years of practice. Kaze spun the “Wheel of Tomorrow’s Regret” again, which landed on “FLIP CUP.” Niles moved onto a table where a revved up Hinata bounced from foot to foot. Leo thought he looked like a tool.

 

“Niles is my roommate,” Leo explained. “I have seen sides of him that you wouldn’t believe.”

 

“Oh, I think I would believe you,” Takumi chuckled, checking his phone again.

 

Leo knew he needed to get Takumi’s attention off of his phone. He just needed to think quickly. Of course, the first thing he thought to say was, “I have tons of stories about Niles. Want to hear?”

 

Takumi’s eyes widened with interest. “Just so you know, I’m not one to gossip,” he said. But his body language betrayed him. They scooted closer to each other and Takumi’s phone was put to his side.

 

_ I would prefer to talk about you and me, _ Leo mused, taking another sip.  _ I guess it could be worse. But what if he thinks I’m an untrustworthy gossip? This isn’t exactly what I want him to think of me... _

 

“For the first two years of rooming with him, he never thought to wear a towel when getting out of the shower,” Leo spilled his tea. “There were times when I would look up and I would see his naked ass staring right at me, and he’d act like it was nothing.”

 

Takumi scoffed. “I can see it. He’s always the first to get shirtless during practice if it’s hot enough.”

 

Leo was almost done with his beer, and he had half of a mind to get more.  _ It doesn’t even taste good... _ “Then there’s the time he admitted to having sex in my bed, many, many times. I remember chasing him around the dorms, yelling at him until I nearly passed out. I was so angry and grossed out.” Leo tried to flip the conversation around. “Have you ever had to deal with that?”

 

Humming to himself, Takumi licked his dry lips. His face was completely red, but Leo thought it was the alcohol. “If Hinata or Oboro ever had sex on my bed without me knowing, they never told me about it and I never caught them,” he answered. “Usually it’s me having sex on it. Usually.”

 

Leo nearly choked on his own spit. He hadn’t expected that kind of answer. Somewhere at the back of his mind, he had hoped that Takumi was inexperienced--well, not  _ entirely _ inexperienced--like himself so he didn’t feel as bad about his nonexistent sex life. Someone as  _ proficient _ as Takumi made himself out to be someone who knew something that Leo didn’t, and frankly, that turned Leo off. In any case, Leo didn’t feel comfortable prying.

 

“Is that so?” Leo coughed, swirling the last few drops of beer in the bottom crevices of his cup. “That’s good for you, then.”

 

He felt Takumi eyeing him up and down, trying to uncover his secrets. Leo briefly believed that his body was radiating sound waves that spelled out “I’m a hopeless virgin but also really, really want you to fuck me up” and Takumi had picked up on those sound waves and was now disgusted with him. But Takumi made no attempt to rub Leo’s lack of experience into his face. When Niles won the second round and Hinata had to walk over to Felicia in shame, the awkwardness between the two had steadily grown to the point where Leo felt like he couldn’t breathe.

 

“Oboro has been my friend since high school,” Takumi shared, taking a deep breath. “Hinata, I met freshman year, but we’re still very great friends. If I ask them not to do something, they won’t do it. Or, Hinata will try to do it and Oboro will stop him. Maybe Hinata  _ did _ have sex in my bed without me knowing. I’m not sure.”

 

Leo tried to laugh off his embarrassment. “And you’re sure Oboro hasn’t?” he asked.

 

“I know Oboro has, a-at least when we were dating... It’s why we applied for a co-ed dorm together.”

 

Now that was something Leo  _ did not _ want to hear.

 

“Have you ever signed up for one of those etiquette workshops?” Leo asked, his voice strained. “I remember I went to one of them and, you wouldn’t believe how...”

 

Leo was able to carry on a clunky conversation until Niles won the preliminaries against a girl named Setsuna, who was so drunk and absent minded that it was a wonder how she got so far in the first place. Perhaps the beer worked in reverse and gave her some sort of clarity that she did not have otherwise. In any case, no amount of clarity could save her from Niles’ otherworldly precision during a round of Battle Shots. Niles cracked his knuckles and popped his shoulders, eyeing Subaki from across his table. A thick crowd of onlookers who were awake enough to stand gathered around them. Everyone watched while Subaki chugged the four obligatory beers, just to make sure the round was fair. Niles hardly looked tipsy, let alone drunk.

 

“Oh, this is interesting!” Silas cheered from his own table. “Our reigning champion facing up against our previous champion, Nasty Niles! Will Niles take his crown back from Subaki the Assassin or will The Assassin defend his throne?”

 

Because there was only one round left, and therefore, only one more drinking game on the wheel that has not been played yet, Kaze announced the final game to be one round of Fear Pong. All of the girls cheered and all of the guys laughed at the thought of whatever dares would be hiding under their cups. Nine cups each were lined up, all the while Niles and Subaki gave each other cutting looks. Only one could be the victor, and both of them couldn’t lose.

 

“I need to see this,” Takumi said, finally standing from the bench. “Are you coming?”

 

Leo nodded and followed him to the outer ring of the gathering, trying their hardest to see over everyone. With expert precision, Subaki landed a white ping pong in one of Niles’ red cup. On the card under the cup was “TEXT YOUR EX THAT YOU MISS THEM.” Niles fearlessly scrolled through a long list of numbers whose names have all been changed to something like “the ex that had 7 cats” or “the ex that blew me behind Taco Bell at 4am” and typed out his message without looking back.

 

A ping pong ball landed in one of Subaki’s cups. This time, the dare was “LET YOUR OPPONENT DRAW ON YOUR FACE WITH MARKER.” Sucking up his pride, Subaki sat on the table while Silas handed Niles a Sharpie. Niles laughed diabolically and, as any typical college student who was given the chance to draw on someone, began by drawing a giant penis on Subaki’s nose, his eyes turning into the testicles and the end of his nose becoming the head. Then he drew around Subaki’s lips and added a small circle at one side to make his mouth a vagina. Finally, on one cheek, Niles wrote, “Nasty Niles’ Cum Slut” and on the other, “I Bite”. Niles stepped back to admire his handiwork and Subaki pulled out his phone to check the damage. His perfect skin was ruined. He didn’t think it would wash away by Monday.

 

“I think it’s a good look for you,” Niles said, capping the Sharpie and handing it to Silas.

 

Subaki sighed, refusing to show his nerves. “So I’m your cum slut now?” he asked, trying to uphold appearances.

 

Niles smirked at him from across the table. “I thought it was better than ‘Bottom Bitch’ but you know, whatever works.”

 

Leo nudged Takumi with his elbow. “Are they always like this?” he asked.

 

Takumi shrugged, his eyes locked on the two. “I guess. I don't usually come to these tournaments. You’d think they were in some sort of relationship.”

 

As if in retaliation, Subaki landed a ping pong in another one of Niles’ cups. The dare said, “ALLOW YOUR OPPONENT TO STRIP YOU TO YOUR UNDERWEAR.” The girls screamed, egging them on. Niles held his arms out, inviting Subaki to take his jacket and shirt off. When Subaki pulled off Niles’ shirt, Niles moaned loud enough for everyone to hear.

 

“Oh, yes! Touch me more, Daddy!” Niles whined with a wide smile on his face, taking quick, shallow breaths. “I need more of you! Please! Fuck me hard, Daddy!”

 

Subaki yanked down Niles’ pants as fast as he could. “You’re disgusting,” he said.

 

Niles smirked down at him. “Nope, I’m just Nasty,” he chuckled. “You look good down on your knees.”

 

“Is Niles usually like  _ that?”  _ Takumi asked Leo.

 

Leo sighed. “... Yeah. Every hour of every day.”

 

“I thought he was just like that during archery. He always goes on about how our ‘long and thick arrows pierce the target deep with accuracy’ or something.”

 

“Yes, that definitely sounds like Niles.”

 

The championship went on after all of the dares were spent and they were left with shots of beer. Niles and Subaki taunted each other from their places, waving their hands over their cups to throw their opponent off. They each had one cup left and the students were on their toes. Subaki cursed when he missed, and cursed again when Niles didn't. The students cheered and clapped at their victor while Subaki drank his last shot of shame.

 

“Congratulations Nasty Niles for taking back your crown!” Silas yelled into the microphone. Once Niles was dressed again, he clapped him on the shoulder. “As promised, your gift card--” he handed it over and Niles kissed it before tucking it into his pocket. “--and Subaki, would you do the honors?”

 

Subaki huffed to himself, fishing out the immaculate kinshi feather. “Take good care of it,” he said, though there was an edge to his voice.

 

Niles smiled. “Anything for you, darling.” He took it without another word.

 

“And that concludes this week’s Festive Friday Tournament,” Silas continued. “As always, we need volunteers to help clean up afterwards, so stick around after everyone leaves to help. I’m your host Silas, and these are my assistants Kaze and Felicia, signing off for now. And we’ll see  _ you _ around campus!”

 

The speakers were unplugged and every drunk student walked off. A few commuters went to Felicia to ask for a ride home. Leo and Takumi threw their cups into one of the garbage bags littering the area and Leo began walking off before noticing Takumi wasn't following.

 

“I’m going to stay and find Oboro and Hinata,” Takumi said. “Hinata’s probably passed out somewhere and Oboro is likely furious at Niles’ victory so I need to calm her down.”

 

Leo nodded. He wanted nothing more than to return to bed. Hopefully Odin didn’t end up burning the building down with his tea lights. “Alright. I’ll leave Niles to his own devices.” He paused, almost walking out again. But then he turned to face Takumi and slowly said, “Goodnight and sleep well, Takumi.”

 

Takumi smiled, wide and genuine. “You too, Leo.”

 

_ I want to frame your smile and put it on my nightstand and maybe make out with it too, _ Leo’s alcohol-infused brain almost said, but a sliver of willpower held him back. Still, the thought made his face hot and he turned his back to Takumi, walking across campus to the dorms.

 

*~*~*~*

 

Thankfully, Odin’s game was long done, Laslow and Selena had left, and the room was dark. Leo decided tonight was the perfect night to sleep in his underwear since he didn't have to put effort into putting pajamas on. When Leo sat on his bed, however, there was a soft, fleece blanket spread out on it.

 

“Odin,” Leo called with no regard for whether or not his roommate was asleep. Odin winced and peeked at him from under his covers. “Why is your blanket on my bed?”

 

Odin paused. There was a long moment of silence between them. Leo almost thought Odin went back to sleep by the amount of time Odin spent trying to craft a reply. When he did answer, however, it was underwhelming.

 

“I have no words for what I did.”

 

Leo thought about it and thought about it some more. He raised his head again, this time with his eyes wide. “Odin, did you have sex on my bed?” he asked.

 

“... We used a blanket.”

 

“For  _ fuck’s sake!” _

 

Leo pushed the blanket to the floor and hid under his covers, seething to himself how he couldn’t catch a break. Even Odin betrayed him. Now, he just wanted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leo just needs a rest.  
> Since I'm going back to school, I might have to go on another hiatus, at least until I can manage my schedule better. Hopefully I'll be able to update regardless!  
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Boyo, Leo done fucked.
> 
> In all honesty if you are 20, 25, 30 and you never had your first kiss and never dated then it doesn't matter. There are no negative effects of not having relationships, only if it's something you really, really want, then you can become desperate. But if you're like Leo and you just have other things on your mind then that's perfectly fine. Personally, I always imagined Leo to be asexual and only having sex when his partner wants it (not that he doesn't consent. He does, but he never outwardly seeks the sex) and likewise, he doesn't actively seek relationships. Only if he feels close enough to them because they started as friends can he be comfortable dating them.
> 
> We'll see a lot more on his relationship with Takumi and how Niles helps him execute it later. Hopefully you guys enjoyed!
> 
> Feedback me, reader-senpai. <3


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